• Abby

A Necessarily Unnecessary Recap, Part Two

Updated: Dec 26, 2020

Now if you're one of those people thinking there isn't anything worse that could have been done than being the side chick and ghosted on Christmas Eve, then you do not know me very well. If you do know me, you know it gets significantly significantly worse.

I wasn't torn up about what happened with Airman XXXXXX, but I wasn't exactly thrilled either. I had said some *accurately* mean things about his performance that probably would knock you down a peg or two, but it was nothing out of the ordinary for a girl who was now scorned twice. I had moved on, sworn I wouldn't be that naive again, and was making moves in school and work. I was about to graduate, I was leading an administrative office, I had a date with a firefighter (It didn't work out. He fled to Italy instead of going on a date with me, but like what can you do?). So really, I was killing it.

I'm going to be honest with you and tell you I'm not sure why I had felt like I was going to have such a successful year. 25 did not start out successful at all. My friends at the time (key words there) decided to take me out to dinner and karaoke for my birthday. In my mind it was perfect, we'd go to Cheesecake factory and then I could sing with a microphone stand - which is exactly what I wanted. Simple, since I was now entering my mid-twenties and all. Not only did I have to fit around someone else's schedule because "it was easier for them", I had to go to a karaoke bar that did not have a microphone stand.

That wouldn't be that bad IF that was all that went wrong, but it wasn't. When we got to the karaoke bar (the one without the microphone stand), one of the four "friends" ran into a coworker... who was drunk, crying, and singing by herself. That wasn't really the vibe that I was looking for, and when she was invited to hang out with us, she didn't really understand that wasn't the vibe either. My "friends" urged me to be cool about it, and I'm not sure what they thought I was going to do by insinuating that I'd be anything other, but when the microphone was taken from me to give to this stranger to sing the first song... I no longer played it cool.

My birthday celebration was centered around a drunk, crying, stranger who sang sad Celine Deon songs for two hours and talked about how her and her boyfriend broke up. Then, my friends let this person "wait it off" and drive home. Needless to say, I don't hang out with that group anymore.

So ya, I was obviously thriving at 25 and figured "Well it can't get much worse than my birthday"... and then I saw a notification on Snapchat for a friend request.

I wasn't surprised when I got the request, like I said his choice in his new companion didn't make sense to me. And maybe it's because of the power trip I was already on, but things from that "I'm pissed at you" to "we're friends" to "the lines are blurred" moved much faster this time and in, yet again, a stronger way than before. We talked often, and he made broken promises like sending me a graduation present. He would finally admit that the letter he sent was in fact a love letter, and would even start saying "love you" before hanging up the phone.

Our conversations weren't even just about us. We talked about his family; his niece and how big she's gotten, his sister and her application to PA school, his mom and how she disowned them, and even how he met a girl he really liked but it didn't work out because she wanted to date him and sleep with other people (yet I'm the one who lacks characteristics of a good partner). I was there to support him through all of it, without any support in return.

There was one incident specifically, that has angered any woman I've told and it's important to note. This girl that Airman XXXXXX fell for was also in the Air Force. They were stationed at the same base in Florida together (oh, did I mention he moved?) and that's how they met. They had the same group of friends and hung out often, and would go out drinking together within that group. I told Airman XXXXXX that's never a good mix, but what do I know? Sure enough though, they get drunk and decide to sleep together, and the next morning she started signing up for the "Me Too" movement.

If you're confused, I'll clear it up for you. Two adults had consented to a situation, one regretted it and knew it would be a big way to hurt the other, so she claimed it wasn't consensual. Airman XXXXXX called his sister in tears, and then said he needed to call me, ME, to talk about it. I told him that she's the reason why women who have been through situations don't want to speak up, because it sure was my reason.

Why I needed support from Airman XXXXXX will be discussed in a different chapter, but when I did ask for him to be there for me three weeks later, he said "Sorry, I have a gf now."

And I bet you can guess who it was.

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