• Abby

A Necessarily Unnecessary Recap, Part One

Updated: Dec 26, 2020

While I'd love to just jump right into all of the fun and glory my life was over the past two years there's a couple of things that need to be understood:

  1. This necessarily unnecessary recap is important and will be needed for reference for later.

  2. This time will keep to the comedic approach and won't trail off, unless therapy stops working. Then, it's just a gamble.

  3. Please remember, these are real stories about real people. If I could make this stuff up, I would.

Now, we can dive in.

So there you have it. Two years goes by and I'm more or less in the same spot as I was in before, only this time I'm fully aware of the consequences my actions and decisions have (and that's on personal growth). But, I started somewhere, and that somewhere was two years ago after the Airman XXXXXX mishap. I read that letter to my friends countless times only for them to agree with me. I was so concerned that I didn't read it correctly, or that there was something that I missed somewhere that I actually took the letter to therapy and read it out loud to my therapist to have him tell me I'm not crazy. I obviously hit a new low.

Eventually, Airman XXXXXX was out of my life... until he came back. He apologized for the letter and said he just shouldn't of sent it in the first place, which I'm not sure how that makes the situation better but his lack of character was already apparent. Anyway, my overwhelming sense of needing to find the good in emotionally unavailable men took over and I let him come back into my life.

It was one of those situations where you tell your friends "I'm not going to do it", but then three days go by and you can't look them in the eye without saying "... I did it" (you know the TikTok sound I'm referring to). I let it climb the latter of that too blurry of a line between friends and more than friends, but Airman XXXXXX was always there to make sure to push me back down. There have been two really fun situations he's put me in over the past two years.

#1. The Ho Ho Ho: It was Christmas season two years ago. Airman XXXXXX was in Texas for finishing training and waiting for his next placement since he quit the selection process for para-jumpers. At the beginning, it was really getting to know each other again. He'd tell me about "work", where he was living, what school was like, and even what his family was up to. He'd call me when he was having a bad day, and eventually he sucked me back in.

It wasn't long before I was sending him indecent pictures, or care packages filled with cookies for not only him, but his roommates as well. I once packed the box of cookies with a blanket, and he told me how much he liked how cozy it was. We talked often, and for a couple of months to where those lines were blurred. Even more than blurred. He told me he was coming home for his Christmas break and he couldn't wait to see me.

Turns out, while he was blurring the lines with me... he met the most unlikely person in Texas and neglected to tell me. I'm not going to speak ill of someone I don't know, I've matured and all that jazz, but I was confused in his choice of a person when I did find out. When I found out makes the story even better.

Christmas Eve. I found out after three months of Airman XXXXXX telling me he can't wait to see me for cuddles, and have fresh chocolate chip cookies, and all the other bullshit he fed me while he was settling down with some girl from Texas. He tried to justify it by saying "I've been trying to ghost you for three weeks." Yet, one week before Christmas I was told in a colorful way how he couldn't wait to see me. I'm not sure how his excuse lines up with his actions, or how "I've been trying to ghost you" also somehow justifies his behavior... but needless to say we did not see eye to eye.

I messaged the girl, and she made the choice to stay with him while he made the choice to block me (only temporarily) from his life. In the end, he came back and somehow managed to make ghosting me on Christmas Eve look like a birthday party.

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