Look, 2020 wasn't a great year for anyone... and to be quite honest, 2021 isn't looking up to be anything spectacular either. But that's another story for another time. This story is about how much my year really started off with a bang.
New Year's Eve was spent the same as the years before have; promising myself I won't sleep around until I'm in a relationship so that I know I'm respected, and then laughing about that promise and create an entirely new resolution that I won't stick to (which was to not make anymore New Year's resolutions). My life at that point in time was a mess, and trying to keep to a promise I made myself didn't seem like a reasonable thing. You see, right before Christmas break, I ended up quitting my job. It was only halfway through the year (I was a third grade teacher), but the circumstances weren't going to get any better for me at the school I was at, and as much as it hurt me to leave my kids, I had to make the right choice for myself. And with that decision, why add one more thing I was going to ultimately fail at?
Feeling as low as I was feeling about my life was probably what lead me to reach out to Taylor. I guess I was already feeling low about myself. I had no job, no plan for my future, I was bored, and my confidence was shot. At that point in time, I had nothing else to lose, so I went for it. Turns out, shooting my shot got me pretty far. He ended up coming over two days later and we banged it out.
Was it a magical experience? No. It wasn't explosive or sensual or anything like it used to be. It was actually... boring. I found myself trying to think of something to just get me to where I needed to be, but the chemistry of it all changed. We didn't work anymore, and while that wasn't a surprise, it was still a disappointment - especially sexually.
I wish Taylor was the only blast from the past that I had encountered throughout the short time I've spent in 2021, but unfortunately for me... I love to make dumb decisions. Again, I'm not sure what enticed me to ever feel the need to reach out to him, but I went onto Snapchat (old reliable when talking to ex-boyfriends) and added Connor back. You haven 't met Connor yet, but when you do, you'll understand how everything just continued to spiral downhill from there.